A gymbunny, I will be

Admittedly, life has taken over yet again. I am still grappling with my plateau which I deserve since I still am not working out consistently. *pout* Mentally, I have given myself one month to stick with my current gym with 100% committment. If it does not show ANY result, I have to find something that inspires me more. I wish I could find my grit, where is it? I am incredibly lucky to not have put on much or any weight save for water retention, of course there is no doubt that there's been muscle loss.

Ubin Run in less than two weeks, OSIM less than a month! Time to kick it into gear! Bring it!

Needing the desperate push back into my exercise routine after two months (or more, actually) of unhealthy seasonal eating and the lack of any mobility save for raising a wine glass (or two, or three, actually four on average) to my mouth, I did the unthink-able. Well, the unthinkable for me that is. I considered signing up for the OSIM Triathlon 2010 (Mini). Motivated by the desire to be alive, I decided to try the segments individually to see how I’d fare.

200m swim, 10k cycle and 2k run in its exact sequence is what I’d have to pull off.

The first few days of January saw the beginning of my Couch to 5K running programme, a week into it, I averaged 25mins for 3km which is not great but it’s not horrible either. The swimming segment of 200m took less than 10mins in the pool. I might end up swimming breast stroke to keep the feet out of my face, we’ll see. The cycling route I have yet to attempt, it’d be this weekend. Given the two decent timings in swimming and running, I decided to leap into signing up.

There is no business like show business right? At worst, I’ll have to fake it till I actually make it. My target is to complete under 50 mins which I am well aware is INSANE for a first timer like me. To break it down, I have 8mins for the swim route which is first, 24mins for the cycling and 18 mins for the run. You best believe that I’m going to make it!

Made the decision to swap out my regular training routine for something tougher because, my schedule is mad and I can’t afford to keep up with fixed sessions. I went for my last class this week and it was a new routine, insanely tough. I felt so defeated by the end, I ought to be stronger but I let it fall by the wayside because, work took over.

Will head for my first session this Wednesday, i think and then, figure out a way to work out before work so I can afford to stay back late and be productive. Not feeling bad that I have to rush off for my gym session will help oodles.

It is not the failure that counts but how you pick yourself up after a fall. Right?

Being pescetarian was not a hard choice to begin with, even if it is was for a lofty, slightly fruity reason – to reduce my carbon footprint. After watching Fast Food Nation written by Eric Schlosser, I could not eat beef for a month because, vivid images of Daisy the cow facing her inhumane death would fill my mind each time I even considered it.

The resident sunshine hippy – Maks and I wanted to catch Food Inc which features Eric Schlosser as well unfortunately, our schedules did not agree. Caught it last night because, I HAD to watch it and it was so inspiring yet amazingly sad. Film make, Robert Kenner did an amazing job with presenting boring statistics into information that possessed such great impact. How Mc Donald’s and other fast food companies essentially changed the meat production industry, that they are the No.1 purchaser of beef in the world, No.1 purchaser of chicken, No.2 purchaser of pork in the world. IN THE FREAKING WORLD.

Facts like

• In the 1970s, the top five beef packers controlled about 25% of the market. Today, the top four controls more than 80% of the market
• 50 years ago, it would take 3 months to grow a chicken to a full maturity and now, it takes 45 days.
• Corn is sold at below production value because, it is in EVERYTHING and, is heavily subsided.
• The biggest predictor of obesity is income level

The mantra is, bigger, faster, cheaper.

At one point, I was close to tears because, it was absolutely gut wrenching to watch. I had literally close my eyes when scenes of the slaughter houses came to view or when they showed chickens who were so pumped with anti-botics to develop oversized breasts, they could hardly even stand and some even die before even reaching the market place. Actually, I am close to tears now as I pen out this entry. My movie companion and I had a conversation after about a particular scene in the documentary about a mexican family of four who were riddled with health issues like obesity, type 2 diabetes because, dollar burgers are all they can afford to eat. Their bodies are so obviously starved of nutrition that it’s rebelling but, it is like fighting Goliath. How can one eat healthy when it costs alot more to buy a lb of carrots compared to a burger.

When I reach goal, I will go back to being pescetarian. That’s my prize after reaching my ultimate goal. Buy local and organic when you can, order what you can eat and not what makes the most sense economically, give up soft drinks, just start something to make a difference. I always considered organic as a new age concept but I realise now that it makes a significant difference when you purchase from places that treat their employees and their product with humanity. That I can definitely afford.

Talk is cheap. Isn’t it? I have been yammering about wanting to start a running programme and, doing zilcho about it. Decided to haul ass to my favourite running track with the cutest companion – Chutney, my 2 year old silky + jack russell terrier mix. I forgot to bring my Nike+ though so I couldn’t track how fast I was running or how much. Well,  I still had fun heading out though. Plus, it was my first time running with Chutney on an actual trail so, I spent most of the run trying to stop him from running into people. I never knew how many people are actually afraid of dogs. Irrationally afraid. Chutney is a squirt and yet, I found myself more than once holding myself back when they literally cower in fear. I mean, seriously. Do they see how small he is?

I wanted to do the entire stretch of the track but, I started late and I was afraid that it would get dark before I reached the end so I went half way and turned back. Now, I want to actually start my C25K programme.

Dressing up these days has been a variable bag of mixed emotions. Since losing weight, I no longer fit into the clothes that once made up the staples to my wardrobe. Well, actually I still can wear a couple pieces but I look like a homeless hobo. Absolutely new outfits have been relegated to the side of the wardrobe simply waiting for doomsday. The day, I accept that my weight loss is fo’ real and in constant progress.

It has not happened yet. With two plateaus under my belt and weight loss that seems to be moving at a snail’s pace, I doubt I can ever sit on my proverbial weight loss laurels. Quite obviously, I have dropped two full dress sizes. Right now, I am between sizes.  The third dress size is plausible, however I look a little like a stuffed chicken. What do I do? I still have to leave the house everyday for work, and social inclinations. My friends have not threatened to disown me yet but, I might do it to myself.

Last week, I purchased my first top in a size that signifies the end of shopping in special stores. Granted, I’m no whale but this is Asia where the girls are skinny and tit-less. Next weekend, I’ll set aside time for shopping. A couple pairs of jeans need to be altered and staple tops purchased. And hopefully, just hopefully I’ll be able to leave with my wallet in one piece.

Editor’s note: I should not mock the titless, I am well on my way there on this weight loss journey.

By the way, weight loss Gods, I am grateful for my weightloss thus far, please do not torment me further with the dreaded P word.

It begun as a challenge. Deep in my eating disorder, I subsisted on an apple, or a carrot a day along with a dinner of a steamed fish. Understandably, I found myself gasping for a breath a mere 5mins. Two months into running, the 5.30pm runs had become routine and I started eating normally again.

Breezing through 4.8km, six days a week with ease, I remember being in a zone. Step after step into the gravel path and before I knew it, I was at the end of the running route. The evening begun no special than the one before, I hid my water bottle deep in scrubs and away from the lifting legs of the dogs that walked the route. I ran.

Close to the end, I noticed an elderly couple sitting on one of the benches that lined the trail. Thinking nothing of them, I made my way past them. As I jogged past them, I heard the man exclaim loudly in mandarin "Look at her legs, they are so UGLY! All the scars!"  In a second, I realised that he was talking about me. At the tender age of 16, I also had atopic ezema which flared up in the humid Singapore heat, being allegic to grass exacerbated the skin condition.

I remember my tears falling down my cheeks uncontrollably as I ran past them pretending that I did not understand a word of what they said. It is one thing to have an insecurity, it is another to have it pointed out to you in full view of everyone and their grandmother. I went home that evening and sobbed my eyes out. Sadly, all it took was one comment from an (im)perfect stranger for me to fall deeper into my condition and away from the one thing that kept me healthy.

I do not recall running outdoors ever since.

14 years later, here I am recounting this because, I need to get to the bottom of why running or any sort of race/outdoor activity scares me so much. It is amazing how powerful the mind is and what it can do.

Missed my favourite class on Saturday because, I was hurting from Thursday’s class still and, it was squat week. Gah! It seems my scale might have been on the fritz. The 1kg is back and, it is not going away. (more…)

For those in the pursuit of a healthier lifestyle, weight loss, a better body, do you ever virtualise what you want to do when you reach your goal? I do, constantly and it keeps me motivated.

My list not in order of merit nor preference

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Let’s admit, it is not possible to be 100% 24/7. At some point, your will gives way to something greater than itself, usually in the form of demonic carbs – delectable cakes, lip smackingly good yellow rice with curry, Ibu Oka Babi Guling. I’m just sayin’

After a really good run of being consistent save for my birthday fiasco and a couple of other choice sabotages, I was set for the gorgeous blue crystal islands of Gili Trawangan. Made the choice to not eat 100% so, I’d try my darnest to do protein but, I was not going to worry my pretty head over it.

Came back from the isles, two shades darker and stayed true to tradition by falling ill so no gym for more than a week. Regardless of where I go, I always run a fever and flu on my first couple days or my last day. What a way to spoil things! On Monday, I had noticed that my skirts were looser but wasn’t sure if it was a figment of my imagination from staying in my swimmers for the last week.

Stayed away from the gym, I weighed in today at home and, the scale registered a loss – 1.8kg to be exact from my last gym weigh in. Definitely a 1.5kg loss because, 0.3kg is a decent flactuation. I hope my scale is not on the fritz! That said, I am not sure how I feel about losing weight when I am doing jack-all and eating crap. Yes, I am aware that it means that my body is much better at metabolising stuff but why does the results come only after I stop trying. Not a great reward for sticking to the plan, I tell you.

To cut to the chase, I’m back, bitch!