ill intentions

The toughest part about losing weight, is not the diet nor the working out. It is dealing with the snide comments that people make. From the get go, the weight that I carry/carried is not because I ate one too many Happy MealsTM or that I went for midnight bouts for fried noodles all too often. There was a choice between waking up praying that a dark cloud would lift and being medicated I would no longer have to battle with suicidal thoughts with a risk of weight gain. Let’s see, a better life or a skinny body? Of course, I chose being alive! The sanity came with a price that I absolutely do not regret though I would not expect a stranger to understand.

I constantly am hungry with being on a high protein meal plan but it is definitely not because I eat too little now. I eat between 4-5 meals a day, all high in protein (as it is evident in my food journals). Last week on MSN, I had my status signature as "peckish" because I have been having these irrational cravings. Moments later, I get a message telling me "Stop feeling peckish! Think Size 6!" Part of me wanted to laugh it off because, that’s what a polite person would do, since we have established that the word "polite" almost never refers to me or my personality. I threw that notion out of the window quickly.

Seriously, you (the person who messaged me) think I have lost all this weight because, I decide to starve myself. Seriously. It felt like a slap and it negates all the hard work I put in at the gym.

If you are reading this "I can deadlift you! + 10kg" So, don’t you dare tell me what to feel.